I Was Feeling Crappy and This Helped

This week my first bill from the Department of Education arrived in my mailbox. My only response was instant depression. It just got me to thinking about all the things a don't enjoy about this phase I'm going through.

A long while later, I remembered a post I recently saw at the Thought Catalog, one of the sites I frequent. They always have cute lists and responses to pop culture that are awesome.  The Dos And Don’ts Of Becoming A Grown-Up  by Chelsea Fagan is one of those great things that helps you put this transition into perspective.

My favorite on the list was:
"DON’T be consumed by jealousy. Even though modern technology has basically served to bombard us with endless photographic and text-based proof that our peers are more successful, more beautiful, and more well-adjusted than us, we have to let it go to some degree. If we spend our time immersed in social media, over-analyzing every new detail about how much more fruitful the life of that dude from high school is than ours, we will literally go insane by the age of 25. We can’t let this happen."

Most of y'all know how badly I suffer from envy. I did a post about it during the #AugustWritingChallenge; you can find it here if you missed it. This little tidbit helped me picked myself up. Just thought I should share.

I saw this later on Pinterest; it spoke to me.

Source: beutifulmagazine.tumblr.com via Katie on Pinterest

#AugustWritingChallenge - Future - Day 31

So, this is the end of my epic journey; the #AugustWritingChallenge is almost over.

In the past several months, I have spent a lot of time thinking  about what the future will hold. I've decided that I can't figure it all out right now. I'm starting to get a much clearer picture of my desired career path, still not completely clear yet though. I got confused and thought that the life I am currently living was going to be what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life. #depressing
Then I realized that isn't true. Change is on the horizon, oh look at me liking change; y'all know that's rare.

In an attempt to focus more on what I love I've decided to commit more to this blog and making it great. So things may start to change in the following months. I want to streamline my focus to my love of literature. I am a self proclaimed bibliophile. In the future, my posts will focus more on what I'm reading more so than anything else; I'll share the ones I love and maybe some of those I don't. It will be similar to my Emma Watson and Wizard of Oz posts but better. Yay!

There will also be a new logo and all types of fun things. Stay tuned! And please hang in there with me.

#AugustWritingChallenge - Judge - Day 28

I do my absolute best to not judge anyone. Some of you may have missed the "My Subway Sandwich Theory" post from 2010. In it, I explain my theory that everyone is entitled to their own "subway sandwich" which is customizable to their needs and desires. I worry about my sub and leave everyone else's alone.

I avoid judging others mostly because I don’t anyone judging me. I know I have more than a few skeletons in my closet and I’d like them to stay there, at least until I decide to expose them.

I have a very – uh let’s call them eclectic – groups of friends. They often do things that I wish they didn’t. I used to scream and yell and throw tantrums. Shake my fingers and scold them. Tell them all the horrible repercussions that I assumed would befall them. It was actually quite tedious even for me. These days, I have a more “if you like it I love it” approach. I occasionally backslide but I think I’ve made vast improvements recently.

#AugustWritingChallenge - Challenge - Day 27

Whew, I am some type of tired. Today, I babysat my friend's puppy. At the end of the day, one thing is clear, I AM NOT ready to be responsible for anything. I was so ready to take that dog home at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed having him but I wasn't crying when I handed him back to his mother.

We had lots of fun but it was the constantly making sure he wasn't getting into anything or getting hurt or eating something he shouldn't eat. My head was spinning. I kept sending these panicked texts like, "idk what's wrong..." and "should he be ____ing."

Yep, no rushing to motherhood or anything of the sort over here, like I said, NOT. Ready.

#AugustWritingChallenge - Create - Day 25

I grew up thinking that I was not a creative person. In my mind, being creative meant being able to draw and oh boy... I cannot draw. The sad thing is my dad is an architect. He draws things for a living! I'm not bitter though.

Side note: I didn't realize how many revelations I had in college until I started this challenge.

Anyway, during my journalism classes we studied all these different structures for writing articles. There were all these sentences structures and literary tools we had at our disposal to add depth to the  stories we were trying to tell. Then I realized that I was creative and that creativity was much more broad than how I originally defined it.

Everyone can be creative. It's just a matter of figuring out what tools work best. For some it will be pencils, others paint, others a camera. The point is to never stop until you find it and once you do, to never stop. Just a heads up: the latter is the harder of the two.

#AugustWritingChallenge - Courage - Day 24

I'm currently reading the original Wizard of Oz series. Today's theme reminds me of the cowardly Lion who desperately wanted courage from the Wizard. What we notice is that the Lion always had courage.

The Lion’s problem was that he thought because he felt fear that he had no courage. That’s not true. Courage is action in the presence of fear. The Cowardly Lion teaches us two lessons: (1) we cannot let fear stop us from doing what we have to do and (2) you don’t have to feel courageous in order to be courageous.

I would hope that in my life I will able to put aside my fear and continue down the path that I am destined to travel.

[LATE] #AugustWritingChallenge - Crime - Day 22

My stepdad is a cop. We are painfully aware of crime in my household. There were so many times growing up when I was not allowed to go to a party or a sleepover because my mother checked neighborhood crime stats like it was the weather report.

I watch a lot of crime dramas; that's my thing: NCIS, CSI, Rizzoli and Isles, Bones, etc. What I notice is that the people who work in law enforcement are some of the most courageous in the world. I know that TV is not the same as reality but I'm sure the two are parallel enough to make the point. There are some many who loose life and limb in an attempt to protect people they don't even know. It's courageous and commendable.

Maybe crime isn't completely under control and the justice system is flawed but there are some good people out there working to protect us all. My dad is one of them. Let's just not forget to be a little grateful.

#AugustWritingChallenge - Infatuation - Day 18

Infatuation is such a tricky emotion. It is confusing and it can lead you all the way astray. Dangerous it is. The problem, at least for me, is that infatuation will not just go away with time. Yes, some days are better than others and you can suppress but deep down its still there and any trigger can set it off.

Infatuation just leads to depression and all other types of messy emotions. The worst of it is that, without the closure, it’s even harder to recover. I’m always left wondering what if…

It sucks and I haven’t figured out a way to end it yet. So, I just enjoy the good days and do my best to keep my head above water on the bad ones.  

Music helps. This video of Adele singing, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” is one of my favorites.

#AugustWritingChallenge - Rivers - Day 15

When I think of some of the world's famous rivers: the Nile, the Amazon, the Ganges, I realize that I have seen none of them. I'd like to consider myself a cultured person but one thing I have not been able to do successfully is travel. The closest I've been to an international traveler in the U.S. Virgin Islands. I know... it's pitiful.

It's not that I haven't tried. My father has been to both the Bahamas and Africa. I begged him to take me but did he... nope! I have plenty of friends who have been all over the globe. I tried to study abroad while at Howard but that fell through in the most traumatic way. But that's another story for another day.

New goal: (This is like the eighth one I've set since the challenge started August 1) By the end of 2013 I will have an international trip fully planned. I am going on an international trip; that's it, even if I have to go alone.)

#AugustWritingChallenge - Physical - Day 4

It's my birthday, FYI. It's also President Obama's birthday.

Now on to today's theme, physical. I think today's society, myself included, is far too consumed with all things physical. Hair, nails, clothes, shoes, etc. we just get caught up in the whirlwind the makes our appearance. I myself went on a wild ride.

On Howard’s campus, freshmen are the easiest to identify. They are the girls that have not learned the correct color stockings and do not own two suits (black and blue) with a set of single strand pearls. They are the boys who have not learned to match their belt and shoes. At Howard, we had an unspoken uniform. You quickly learned it and got in line.

We believe in Michael Kors, Chanel, and Ralph Lauren. We carry Macs – everyone has at least one Apple product— and books in Coach bags; if we don’t have a bag big enough… then we don’t carry our books. LOL.

Since leaving college, I’ve realized that Howard taught us a valuable lesson, but we took it just a little too far. It is important to dress appropriately.  We should make sure we are clean and neat and presentable at all times. However, we have to be dressed to the nines just to run to Target. We do not have to spend our entire checks in the mall. We will live if we don't have EVERY pair of shoes in the Nine West store. 

I think I will try in the future to focus more of my energy and MONEY toward helping and elevating more than just myself. I want to focus more on developing my  career and my family, things that will last forever, not just a season. 

#AugustWirtingChallenge - Money - Day 1

Oh Money.

It's right up there with confidence, esteem, and attention; I never seem to have enough or have it when I most need it.

Seeing as I just left college two months ago, my budget is tight, like my prom dress would be if I tried it on today. And much like the dress, if I ever want to have room in it, it's going to take A LOT of time and effort on my part.

My mother is like the money Nazi. She stays on me about saving, debt, loans, credit cards, and budgets. All we talk about is did I pay this bill and when I'm going to pay that bill. How long will it be before I pay off my student loans? Ugh, it never ends. I've poured over a budget, crunching numbers, until I gave myself a headache.

Welcome. To. Adulthood.